Is it possible to flourish in a crisis?
Petaluma Hill Road, Sonoma County | Jeff Bramwell | jeffbramwellphoto.com
In conversations with people over the past several years I started noticing more and more people weren’t flourishing in their lives. Whether it was in a catch up with a coworker or hearing a friend pour their heart out as I poured us both a glass of wine, I kept hearing things like:
“I don’t feel fulfilled."
“I’m struggling at work.”
“I don’t have confidence in myself.”
These conversations weighed on me. I’ve always been someone who wants to see the people I care about thriving, but why did so many people seem like they weren’t?
After spending some time introverting about it, I made a commitment. I’ll build a business that focuses on helping people find that state of flourishing. So I did...and then COVID-19 turned the world upside down.
I’m lucky it’s been more of a pause than an ending for my business. But like many of you, with that pause came time to think… and recently I’ve found myself thinking about the same question:
Is it possible for us to flourish while living through a crisis?
To take a closer look at this, I started with how I define flourishing. I believe we’re flourishing when we’re clear on our purpose, have found ways to live it in our work and personal lives and have finally learned to accept ourselves for exactly who we are.
In the middle of a crisis like the one we’re currently living, do we want to spend time on these things? To be honest, maybe not. We’re dealing with big stuff like grief, financial uncertainty, job loss, worry for loved ones and not knowing when we’re coming out of this.
So it’s true. We might not have the capacity right now to explore the things that would help us flourish. However do we have the ability to find ways to flourish right now?
You bet. And you might not even need a coach like me to help you with it.
Define your purpose for the next 3 months: Right now tapping into who you want to be for the next 3 months is probably more imaginable than thinking about who you want to be several years from now. At the Hudson Institute as coaches we became well versed in understanding 6 dimensions we juggle in our lives: self, relationship, family, friends, work, and community. And we learned you can only focus on 2 or 3 of these at a time. How can these dimensions serve you during a crisis like COVID-19? You can prioritize (or reprioritize) those that matter the most to you right now and define a 3-month purpose built around them. And you can get creative. For example the sci-fi nerd in me sometimes encourages my clients to do some time travel. What if the future you, the “you” on the other side of this crisis, could appear and tell you what life looks like 3 months from now? Put pen to paper and write a letter to yourself. Be specific. Three months from now, what impact have you made in the areas where you’ve invested? That future state can become the north star you use to navigate today.
Experiment with ways to live your 3-month purpose: Will how to live your 3-month purpose be immediately obvious? Probably not. So do some experimenting. What’s a new habit or commitment you can make to connect more with your family? How can you use the challenge of working from home to achieve something at work you’ve always wanted to do - but haven’t been able to? And if some of these experiments fail, it’s fine. Because failing isn’t the point. It’s about learning and using what you learn to iterate, iterate, and try again. And here’s the cool thing about learning during a time when it’s hard to feel in control...it’s empowering.
Use the things that scare you as opportunities to learn about yourself: Your fears are often anchored in stuff you’ve experienced in the past. When something triggers your fears, it’s like you’re living that moment again. And again. And again. You get the point. Imagine you’re watching that moment at the movie theatre on the big screen, bag of popcorn and box of Twizzlers in hand. Don’t judge it - just observe it. What’s the setting? Who are the characters? And as the story is folding, as a member of the audience what are you learning? We all learn from both the good and bad moments in our lives. The power here is discovering how what you learned from the not-so-great moments in the past can help you navigate the fears you're facing today. You can use this wisdom to stay true to who you want to be as you lead, live, and persevere through this crisis.
I’m not saying it’s easy to do any of these things right now. And I’m certainly not saying this is an easy time to flourish.
I’m simply here to say, the pause, reflection, and time we have in front of us are opportunities to get clear on how to live a meaningful life during this crisis as well as in the world that emerges afterward.
Tom Floyd is an executive coach and founder of Flouracity, a professional development company that helps managers grow in their careers, leaders flourish in their roles and people become the best version of themselves.